Sunday, March 28, 2010
How To Remove Tensioner 2002 Liberty
own historical map: Invasions of the Roman Empire, Germanic peoples
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Cellulitis And Tailbone Pain
Murphy's Law (Selected)
say human behavior and social sciences do not behave according to laws. Which is more likely for physical phenomena or so-called hard sciences.
The idea of \u200b\u200bthis post is to qualify this idea ... To see who is able to disprove the laws of murphy? It is clear that "if something can fail, fail", this does not escape the laws not cited here. In short, can not 100% satisfied, but serve more of what we want ... that's for sure. Selecting
Murphy's laws Murphy's Law
.- If something can go wrong will go wrong.
corollary. 1. Nothing is as easy as it sounds. 2. Everything takes longer than you think. 3. If the possibility of several things going wrong, which causes more damage will be the only one that goes wrong. 4. If you sensed that there are four possibilities that go bad management and avoids appear spontaneously when a fifth possibility. 5. When things are left to themselves, tend to go from bad to worse. 6. As is set to do something, you'll realize there's something else I should have done before. 7. Any solution leads to new problems. 8. It is useless to do anything foolproof because fools are very ingenious. 9. Nature is always part of the hidden flaw. 10. Mother Nature is a Lizard. PHILOSOPHY
MURPHY .- Smile. Tomorrow may be worse. O'TOOLE
COMMENT ON THE LAW OF MURPHY .- Murphy was an optimist.
POSTULATE of Boling .- If you feel unwell, do not worry. It will happen. FIRST LAW OF CHISHOLM
.- When things go well, something must be right to be wrong.
COROLARIOS.1. When it seems that nothing can be worse, worse. 2. When it sounds like things are getting better, is that he has missed something.
LAW OF THE GREAT IDEA .- When you can think of the ideal, someone will have already solved the problem. LAW OF THE LIE
.- No matter how often it is shown that a lie is wrong. There will always be a certain percentage of people who believe it's true. ACT
Kranska .- day Beware of that has nothing to regret.
COROLARIOS.1. If you explain something so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, do not worry, someone will. 2. If you do something and you are sure you will be approved around the world, someone is upset. 3. Methods to better achieve the objective not usually work. Finagle's First Law
.- If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. SECOND LAW FINAGLE.No
matter what is the expected result. There is always someone eager to: • misleading; • Mimic • Believing that has been because of his favorite theory. THIRD LAW
Finagle .- In any group of data, the figure is obviously correct, without any need for verification, is wrong.
COROLARIOS.1. If someone asks for help, you will not know see the error. 2. Anyone take a look, without your request, you will see immediately. Finagle FOURTH LAW
.- If a paper is jammed, all you do to fix it just get worse.
FINAGLE.1 RULES. To study a subject best, Understand them in depth before. 2. Always carry a data record, and demonstrate that it has been working. 3. First draw curves and then prepare the text. 4. In case of doubt, that sounds convincing. 5. The experiments should be similar, ie, they all fail the same way. 6. Do not believe in miracles, rely on them. FIRST LAW
SODD .- When a person undertakes a task, the unconscious intervention of other presence (animate or inanimate) derail their plans. However, some tasks can be completed because this presence is also involved performing a task and, of course, is also exposed to your intervention. SODD'S SECOND LAW
.- Sooner or later, you can have the utmost assurance that produce the most unfavorable circumstances.
COROLLARY .- Any system must be designed so that it can oppose the most unfavorable circumstances.
UNIVERSAL LAWS ON RECOMMENDED BY THE COMMITTEE OF THE SOCIETY OF ENGINEERS FOR ENGINEERS INGENUOS.1 PHILOSOPHERS. In any calculation, if you have to brew a mistake will slip. 2. Any error in any calculation, the most damage will occur. 3. In any formula, constants (especially those that are drawn from engineering books) should be considered as variables. 4. The best approach to operating conditions in the laboratory, not even be close to actual operating conditions. 5. The most important dimension of any plan or project is one that is more likely to overlook that. 6. If only a quote for a particular project, it is more likely that the price is not reasonable. 7. If a test installation functions perfectly, producing units will not work at all. 8. All promises of delivery times must be multiplied by a factor equal to 2.0 .. 9. The major design changes will be requested when the manufacturing process is nearing completion. 10. Parts that can not be mounted more than a certain order, can be interchanged. 11. Parts interchangeable, however, prove that they are not. 12. The manufacturer's specifications on performance should be multiplied by a factor equal to 0.5 13. The statements of the sales department staff on performance should be multiplied by a factor of 0.25. 14. The installation and operating instructions that come with the set, have thrown the Department of Receiving Goods. 15. The piece that needs some adjustment will be less accessible. 16. The conditions of service as the instructions come in, they fall short quickly. 17. If more than one person that you can blame a miscalculation, the fault is no longer anyone. 18. Identical devices that have the same behavior in the tests, will not behave well in practice. 19. 1 if, in practice there is a safety factor that determined the experience will always be some ingenious idiot over it. 20. The terms expire guarantee to pay the bill.
PARK LAW ON INSURANCE PREMIUMS AND TAXES .- What goes up, stays up.
EXTENSION TO THE LAW OF MURPHY .- If a series of events can go wrong will go wrong in the worst possible sequence. EXTENSION
GATTUSO MURPHY'S LAW .- Nothing is ever as bad as what it can not get worse.
LAW IMBESI ON THE CONSERVATION OF THE SOIL .- To clean something there to mess something else. EXTENSION
FREEMAN .- But you can mess around without cleaning anything.
LAW INAPPLICABLE .- Wash the car so that rain does not usually bear fruit. HANE
ACT .- There are no limits to things going wrong.
PERRUSEL LAW. - There is no simple task that can not be wrong. COROLLARY
"Never get caught between two bureaucracies.
HOFFSTEDT PRINCIPLE ON THE JOB .- Confusion creates jobs. SOPER LAW
.- Any bureaucracy reorganized to enhance efficiency, immediately becomes indistinguishable from its predecessor.
OWEN ON THE THEORY OF DIVERSION ORGANIZATIONAL .- An organization is assigned a certain number of seats to make it available to unskilled people. THEORY
Goia .- The least qualified person is giving more opinions.
THE DANGER OF GENIUS .- Any head lay off an employee to always be right. MOTTO
LIPPMAN .- People always specialized in the field less known. HUTCHINS LAW .-
can not speak more than a man who knows what he is talking.
FAHNSTOCK LAW ON THE DEBATE .- Any issue worth debating is worth avoiding it altogether.
MITCHELL LAW ON COMITEOLOGÍA. • Any simple problem can become insoluble if enough meetings are held to discuss it. KENNEDY
COMMENT ON COMMITTEES .- A committee is constituted by twelve men doing the work of one. KIRBY
COMMENT ON COMMITTEES .- A committee is the only way of life that has twelve stomachs, but no brain.
START OF CONFERENCE ON COLLINS .- The most monotonous voice he always talks after lunch.
JACOBSON LAW .- The less work is organized, most frequently rearranged. RULE
ROGER .- The grant authorization for a project only when none of which he is authorized to be blamed if the project fails but all it can to establish if this is a success.
inferiority FIRST RULE OF SUPERIOR .- Do not let your superiors realize that you are superior to them. WHISTLER ACT
.- You never know who is right, but always know who is boss.
COHN LAW .- In any bureaucracy, the paperwork will increase as you spend more time writing reports about how little he does. The stability will be achieved only when you spend all your time writing reports on what, at all, are doing.
AXIOM OF GOURD "A meeting is a situation where minutes are kept and lost hours.
FIRST LAW OF BUSINESS MEETINGS .- The failure of the pen tip is directly proportional to the importance of the notes to be taken. PETER PRINCIPLE
.- In any hierarchy, every employee has to increase his level of incompetence.
COROLLARY. • Over time, all positions that tend to deal with an incompetent employee. • The work performed by an employee who has not yet reached the ideal level of incompetence. PLACEBO
PETER .- An ounce of image equals one kilo of performance. Axiom
VAIL .- In any human enterprise, work seeks the lower hierarchical level.
PARKINSON'S FOURTH LAW. - The number of people who make up a working group tends to increase regardless of the work to be carried out. FIFTH LAW OF PARKINSON
.- If there is a way to delay an important decision, an effective bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.
SPARK'S TEN RULES FOR THE DIRECTOR OF projects.1. Strive to always have a tremendously important issue. 2. Try to be seen with important people. 3. Speak with authority, but only obvious and proven facts. 4. Do not enter discussions. But if you cornered, unimportant ask a question and take the body back with a satisfied smile. When your opponent tries to understand what happens, take the opportunity to change the subject. 5. Listen absorbed as the others discussed the problem. Attack and crush a trivial matter to others. 6. If a subordinate makes a nagging question, look as if he had gone mad. When you look at the ground, point it at him the same question in different words. 7. Get more orders, but does not become the center of attention. 8. When you leave the office, walk quickly. This minimizes the chances of questions from subordinates and superiors. 9. Keep always closed his office door. This will make your visitors become defensive or think that you are in an important meeting. 10. Always verbally all orders, which are not written tests. WORKER'S DILEMMA
. • Whatever you do, never be enough. • What not to do, always be more important than what you do. AXIOMS \u200b\u200bOF DIRECTOR.1
. Think about it: that money is not yours. 2. The right direction is the expression of a good idea. 3. No executive devotes no effort to verify that you were wrong. 4. If action needs to justify a very complicated calculations, not undertaken. MAXIMUM
MATCH .- A fool in an elevated position is like a man on top of a mountain. The second, everything seems small and he looks small to everyone. LAWS
Mencken. • He who can, does. • He who can not be devoted to education.
EXTENSION OF MARTIN .- Those who can not go into teaching, are civil servants.
LAMENT OF HARRIS .- The good jobs are already occupied.
OLD LAW AND KAHN .- The efficiency of a committee is inversely proportional to the number of participants you have and the time you spend in deliberations. HENDRICKSON
ACT .- If a problem because many meetings are held, the meetings will become more important than the problem. TRUMAN ACT
.- If you can not convince them, confúndalos. FIRST LAW OF DEBATE
.- Do not argue with a fool never. People may not appreciate the difference.
INDECISIÓN.1 LAWS. Indecision shortens the job and moved to another person (the boss to put the deadline) the responsibility of the conclusion. 2. Reduces anxiety, decreasing the expected quality of the project have to do in so little time. 3. You gain prestige with others and to oneself, since it is assumed that the importance of work justifies the stress. 4. Generally, you can also get to avoid interruptions (for example, may be assigned new tasks) for the worker, clearly overwhelmed to concentrate on what you are doing. 5. Indecision prevents boredom. Never have the feeling that there is nothing important to do. 6. You can delete the task, if not done needed before it is completed. PATTON LAW
.- A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.
LIEBERMAN ACT .- Everybody lies but it does not matter because nobody listens.
BOTH POLITICAL PRINCIPLES TODD.1. I say what I say, not the whole truth. 2. Talk about what you talk, talk about money. OBSERVATION
Horngren .- Among economists, often the real world is a special case. Glyme
FORMULA OF SUCCESS .- The secret of success is sincerity. As I can fake it, you've got. HELGA
RULES .- Say no and then negotiate. HOROWITZ
RULE .- Wisdom is to know when to avoid perfection. NEVERS
LAW ON THE DEBATE .- Two monologues not a dialogue. HIRAM
ACT .- If consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.
BRALEK RULE ON SUCCESS .- Trust only those who lose as much as you if things go wrong.
CLARKE ACT ON THE REVOLUTIONARY IDEAS .- Every revolutionary field - science, politics, art or any other - produces three forms of reaction. Can be summarized in three sentences: 1. It is impossible not waste my time. 2. It is possible, but not worth it. 3. I always said it was a great idea.
ACT RUNAMOK .- There are four kinds of people: 1. Those who sit silently and do nothing. 2. Those who talk about sitting quietly and do nothing. 3. Those who do things. 4. Those who talk about doing things. MAXIMUM
MATZ .- A conclusion is the point where you got tired of thinking. Fagin
RULE ON THE PREDICTION OF THE PAST .- The hindsight is an exact science.
FUNDAMENTAL RULE OF HISTORY .- It is that history will repeat, is that historians are copied each other.
HAWKINS THEORY ON THE PROGRESS .- Progress does not consist in replacing a theory wrong by another right, but to substitute a false theory by another more subtly wrong. ACT
hlad .- If you have a difficult task, confess to a lazy man. You will find the easiest way to do it. HUNT LAW
.- Any great idea has a major disadvantage or equal to the greatness of it. Hanlon's Razor
.- Do not you never attribute to malice what stupidity can explain. ACT
KEOPS "Nothing is completed on time and not out of the budget.
START OF O'BRIEN (THEORY OF $ 357.73) .- Auditors always reject any account of costs whose total is divisible by 5 or 10. Issawi
OBSERVATION ON THE USE OF PAPER .- Each system has its own way to consume huge amounts of paper. In socialist systems have to fill out forms in quadruplicate kilometer. In capitalist societies are placed huge billboards and everything is wrapped with four layers of cardboard. COROLLARY
SIDE JOHN-To get a loan, the first thing to do is demonstrate that you do not.
INSTITUTIONS ACT .- The magnificence of the reception is inversely proportional to the solvency of the company. PROPHECY
POULSEN .- If you use anything to its full capacity, it breaks.
EDWARDS LAW ON THE EFFORT / TIME. • Effort x Time = Constant. • Given a large initial time to do something, the initial effort will be small. • As the time approaches zero, the effort tends to infinity. McPHERSON
THEORY ON THE ENTROPY .- less energy is required to remove an object from its site for replacing. SNAFU EQUATIONS
. • Any problem with n equations, there will be n +1 unknowns. • The necessary information will always be the most inaccessible. • When you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, appear simple and obvious solution was right under their noses. • The bad news always comes in waves.
LAWS OF PROGRAMMING DE ORDENADORES.1. Any program, when it works, is that it has become old. 2. Any program is more expensive and needs more time. 3. If a program is useful, will be replaced. 4. If a program is useless, will be demonstrated. 5. Any program will expand to fill all the computer resources. 6. The complexity of a program increases beyond the ability of the programmer who must review it. GILB
RULES ON NON FIABILIDAD.1. Computers are unreliable, but humans are even less. 2. Any system that depends on human reliability is not reliable. 3. The variety of undetectable errors is infinite in contrast to detectable errors which are, by definition, limited. 4. Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors or until someone insists that the job is done right.
LAW OF NUISANCE .- When you are doing manual work, saving tool because you are sure you will not use it again, will need shortly.
LOWERY LAW .- If you get stuck, force it, if it breaks, it had to be replaced anyway. SCHMIDT LAW
.- If bumble one thing for a long time, it will break.
PRINCIPLE USES MULTIPLE DEVICES .- The fewer things can make a device, make them better.
GORDON LAW .- If an investigation is not worth it, not worth doing well.
COROLARIOS.1. The broader theory, the better. 2. Can be seen that the experiment has been successful when (to fit the theory) must be eliminated over 50 100 of the measures. WILLIAMS LAW
and heard .- If you gather enough data, you can prove anything using statistics. FETT
ACT LAB .- Never try to replicate an experiment that has gone well. PARKINSON
ACT .- The progress of science is inversely proportional to the number of journals that are published.
HANDY GUIDE FOR SCIENCE MODERNA.1. If it's green or wriggles, it's biology. 2. If it stinks, it's chemistry. 3. If not, is physics. EXTENSIONS
CERF A HANDY GUIDE FOR SCIENCE MODERNA.1. If it's incomprehensible, is mathematics. 2. If it makes no sense, it is economics or philosophy. THE FALLACY OF SAGAN
.- To say that a human being is nothing but a collection of molecules, is like saying that Shakespeare is not just a set of words.
FIRST LAW OF SCIENTIFIC .- The progress of science can be measured by the speed with which accumulate the exceptions to the laws previously established.
COROLARIOS.1. Exceptions always outnumber rules. 2. Always There are exceptions to the exceptions. 3. When you come to dominate the exceptions, nobody remembers that rule apply. Felson
ACT .- Stealing ideas a person is plagiarism. Steal them many is research.
VILE ACT FOR TEACHERS. - No attention in class until you screw up.
LAWS FOR THE CLASS SCHEDULE. 1. If the course you most wanted to do was a maximum number of students n, n +1 you will be requested to enroll. 2. Schedules be developed for the sole and exclusive purpose of losing students as long as possible between classes. COROLLARY. If, by chance, get to have two followed classes, are taught in two buildings farther apart around the campus. 3. Whether to do a course, he feels like a lot needs to study a previously, the latter will only be offered during the semester following the desired.
APPLIED TERROR LAWS. 1. When you review your notes before an exam, you will realize the most important thing is unreadable. 2. The more you study for an exam, unless the insurance is what is the answer they ask. 3. 80 per 100 of the final exam is taken from the class you missed and the book does not read. 4. The night before the part of History, Professor of Biology will send to read two hundred pages on insects. COROLLARY. All teachers assume that all you have to do is study your subject. 5. If you have to do a test on which you can use books, you forget to take them. COROLLARY. If you must write a work at home, you forget where you live. 6. At the end of the year will remember that he had enrolled in a course ... and never went to class. Rominger
STANDARDS FOR STUDENTS. 1. The more general the course title, at least learn it. 2. The more specific you are, the less likely you are able to apply later.
DUGGAN ACT INVESTIGATION Scholar.
- You can not determine the source of the quotation more valuable. COROLLARY. - The source of the quote that you forgot to enter will appear in the worst criticism of their work. Rominger
RULES FOR TEACHERS. 1. When a student asked a second time if you've read his summary of the book means that he had not read it. 2. If assistance is required in class daily, announced a review will produce increased absenteeism. If optional, you see faces that had never seen before.
FOUR PRINCIPLES OF WORKSHOP. 1. The wrench or drill you need to be precisely those missing from the toolbox. 2. For most assembly takes three hands. 3. The remaining nuts in accordance with screws never leftovers. 4. The more carefully you plan a project, the more confusion will occur when something goes wrong.
THEORY OF SELECTIVE MONITORING. - The only time of day when one rests comfortably in the back of the chair and relax is when the boss walks around the office.
MURPHYOLOGÍA SIX LAWS OF OFFICE. 1. Important letters that have no faults, will breed more when they are in the mail. COROLLARY. The corresponding errors appear in the letter while the boss is reading. 2. Office machines, which work perfectly in normal working hours, will break away as backroom at night and use them for personal business. 3. The machines have been broken, work perfectly as soon as the repair technician. 4. Envelopes and stamps do not stick when they suck, they remain attached to anything at least desired. 5. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving spontaneously from the place where you left them to where they can not find. 6. The last person left or was fired from the company, will be the one to blame it all goes wrong ... to be given off to another.
BOGOVICH LAW. - He who hesitates, he's probably right.
LAW DE BRINTALL. - If you are given two contradictory orders, obey them both.
Tillis ON TOP OF ORGANIZATION. - If you file, know where it is, but it will never lack. If not filed, you'll need but never know where you are.
SANDILAND LAW. - The free time that can have an unexpected way, it inevitably squander
SCOTT LAW ON BUSINESS.
- Never go down the aisle of your business without taking a paper in his hand. TABLE OF EXCUSES
USEFUL FOR THE OFFICE. 1. Always has been. 2. I did not know I needed it urgently. 3. Nobody told me to do so. 4. I was waiting for permission. 5. How was I to know this was different?. 6. This is his job, not mine. 7. Wait until the boss and ask again. 8. We have not made many mistakes. 9. Do not think it was so important. 10. I'm so busy I can not spend even a minute. 11. I thought you had said. 12. Did not hire me to do this.
PINTO LAW. - If you make someone a favor, he will have many more. FUNDAMENTAL THEOREM
. - New systems generate new problems.
fundamental postulates of ADVANCED SYSTEMS THEORY. 1. Everything is a system. 2. It's all part of a bigger system. 3. The Universe is infinitely systematized, both upward (larger systems) or down (smaller systems). 4. All systems are infinitely complex (the illusion that they are simply comes from focusing on one or a few variables).
DAVIS LAW. - If the owner of a newspaper is a question, the answer is "no." OBSERVATION
ETORRE. - The other tail is faster. O'BRIEN
CHANGE THE OBSERVATION ETORRE. - If you change your tail, you just left will start to move faster than the new. COROLLARY
Kenton. - If you return to the first, all I get is that there is a commotion and everyone mosquee with you.
principle of hope. - The longer leads to a queue, the more likely it is that is wrong window.
STORRY LAW ON CRIMINAL PROSECUTION. - The degree of guilt is directly proportional to the vehemence with which denies everything. Jilly
LAW. - The more horrendous than the haircut, it will grow more slowly.
WOOD WALLACE LAW ON THE DRAWING. 1. Do not draw what you can never copy. 2. Do not copy that you can never trace. 3. Calque not ever what to cut and paste.
FULLER LAW ON JOURNALISM. - The farther away an accident happens, most deaths and injuries need to be news.
LAWS OF THE TRUTH IN THE STORY 1. . The more is close to the scene, most obvious are the errors of the newspapers covering the information. 2. The farther away from the scene, you will experience a greater tendency to believe what the newspapers have covered the information.
Deder LAW. - In a three-story building with one elevator, it will be in another apartment nine out of ten times.
LAW OF SIR WALTER. - The trend of cigarette smoke, grill, campfire, etc., To address a person's face is directly proportional to the sensitivity of that person to smoke.
BASIC PRINCIPLE OF BAGGAGE. - Was put together with the conveyor belt that you, your luggage will come next.
AXIOM OF ANGUS ON EXCHANGE. - When traveling abroad, the exchange rate will greatly improve the day after buying the currency.
COROLLARY. - Upon returning home, the exchange rate will fall again as soon as they changed all the remaining currencies.
FULTON LAW ON GRAVITY. - The effort to collect the fly an object that can break, will produce a much greater disaster that drop. ADVANCED
VILE ACT ON THE ART OF QUEUE. 1. If you head running into a short tail, before it gets will be very long. 2. When waiting in a long tail, the people behind you maneuvered and placed in the box that just opened. 3. If you leave for a second, a short tail, it will become a long row. 4. If you are in a short tail, people will slip before all your friends and relatives and will become a long tail. 5. A short queue outside a building will become a long tail on the inside. 6. If it gets stuck in one place long enough, will form a queue behind you.
SIX PRINCIPLES FOR PATIENTS. 1. Just because the doctor knows the name of your illness does not mean you know what it is. 2. The older and magazines are boring waiting room, more time will have to wait to receive him. 3. Only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles. 4. Are never enough pills for the last day of treatment. 5. The tablets to be taken with meals are the most disgusting. COROLLARY. Even the water tastes bad when taken on prescription. 6. If it appears that their conditions are improving, it's likely your doctor is getting sick.
TELESCAN LAWS ON NURSING. 1. All users are on the other end of the hall. 2. The doctor's ability is inversely proportional to the time available. 3. There are two types of tape: the one that does not stick and can not unstuck. 4. Everyone wants a shot at the same time soothing. 5. All who do not want a sedative injection when you offered them, they want it passes the sleeping pills. WARNING
MATZ. - Be careful with the doctor who is very clever way out of trouble.
PORKINGHAM LAWS ON FISHING. 1. The time you have to go fishing will decrease as the season approaches. 2. The least experienced fisherman always the fishing the larger fish. COROLLARY. The more sophisticated and expensive as his team most likely to stop at the fish to return. 3. The more he has tangled the line, more fish will around. ACT
SHEDENHELM
PROGRESS IN MOUNTAIN. - All trails have more uphill sections downhill, regardless of the direction of travel. ACT
MUS. - The partner is always blamed. UNDISPUTED
LAW OF CONTRACTS SPORTS. - The greater the amount stated in the contract, the less effective the following season. KNOX
START OF THE QUALITY OF THE STAR. - When transferred to a superstar for your favorite team that goes out. When his team transferred to an unknown useless, immediately rises to stardom. Hertzberg
LAW TO WALK ON THE WING. - Never let go of where it is caught until it is holding on to something else.
DEAL ON THE LAWS OF NAVIGATION. 1. The amount of wind will vary inversely proportional to the number and experience of people on board. 2. No matter how strong the breeze when it leaves the dock, on arrival at the point farthest from the port, the wind will stay calm. ROAD COURTESY
OLIVER LAW ON THE POSITION. - Wherever you go, there you go.
FIRST LAW OF TRIP. - Always take longer to get that back.
AIR ACT. - When you need to make a transfer, if the plane on which you are late, one not wearing it.
KELLY LAW ON AIR NAVIGATION. - The most important part of any road map is in the fold.
CHARNOK GRANDFATHER LAW. - Do not know what it is blasphemy to not learn to drive.
VILE ACT ON THE ROAD. - Your car wastes gas and oil than others. STATEMENT OF PHILLIP
. - Driving a four wheel vehicle simply means that you can get stuck in the most unlikely places.
HUMPHRIES LAW ON CYCLING. - The shortest path is the one with the steepest hills.
LAW OF THE WAY OF LIFE. - If everything comes to you, is that the wrong lane. ATHENA
LAWS OF THE FREE DRIVING.
- If you allow someone stand in front of you: 1. The car in front will be the last to cross a level crossing and you will be unable to move until the end of spending a long, slow train, or 2. The two go to the same site and the other will occupy the last free parking space. Lemar POSTULATE
ON PARKING. - If you had to leave the car six blocks, you will find two holes at the entrance of the building.
GRAY LAW FOR BUSES. - A bus that never arrives, only appear when potential passengers have been walking to a point so close to the destination and not worth taking the bus. ACT
McKee. - When not in a hurry, the traffic light turns green before stopping the car.
QUIGLEY ACT. - A car and a truck that will cross on a deserted road, you will always find in step closer.
FIRST TRAFFIC LAW. - The slow lane which has stood so long, begin to move when you've switched to another.
SECOND LAW OF TRAFFIC. - The time taken by the margin that traffic will fall short because they spend hour and a half in traffic. REECE
LAW. - The speed of an oncoming vehicle is directly proportional to the area of \u200b\u200bthe crossing area.
DREW LAW ON THE BIOLOGY OF THE HIGHWAY. - The first bug that crashes on a windshield, it is always at the level eyes.
AXIOM OF WINFIELD ON THE ART OF GIVING AN ADDRESS. - The possibility of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times they say "can not miss." JEAN
LAW ON THE CAR. - Any car that is used as a "second car" will break as the other has a breakdown. Bromberg
LAWS ON AUTO REPAIR. 1. If you can locate the damaged part, do not have tools to remove. 2. When you can remove, in the parts store will tell you they do not have now, but it is requested. 3. If you have stock in the store is no need to change.
MILLER LAW ON INSURANCE. - The insurance covers everything except what happens. MILSTAR
ON TOP OF THE DRIVE. - If you want to pause a moment to touch up her makeup, all lights are green. Bromberg
LAWS ON MOTOR REPAIR. 1. When the need arises, any tool or object you have on hand becomes a hammer. 2. Although the repair is small, you end up full of grease and oil. 3. If necessary, the tools can be used interchangeably in metric or inches. DOMESTIC MURPHYOLOGÍA
O'REILLY LAW ON THE KITCHEN. - Cleanliness is next to impossible.
SEVEN RULES OF DISORDER IN THE KITCHEN. 1. The multi-purpose devices do not implement any of their duties. COROLLARY. The more expensive the appliance, the less you use. 2. The instructions are simple (eg, "Press Here"), the harder it is to open the box. 3. If you find a recipe for her grandmother in an old book, the most important ingredient is unreadable. COROLLARY. Discover that it is unreadable only after all other ingredients mixed. 4. Once you have broken a dish, add anything to fix it worse. 5. Always receive praise for the dish easier to prepare. Example: If you "duck l'orange" compliment you on baked potatoes. 6. His guest is allergic to only ingredient that was hard to find. 7. The more time and energy devoted to preparing a dish, most likely to spend your guests commenting on food delicacies that have been taken elsewhere.
LAWS OF WORK OF THE COOK. • If you forget if you remove the meat from the freezer, you have not already done so. • If you do not remember if the appliance has been left plugged in, yes it has left. • If you do not remember having to buy bread and eggs, which are not. • If you do not know if you have enough money to invite your family to eat out, it has not. ALICE HAMMOND
LAWS ON THE KITCHEN. 1. The soufflés rise and whipped cream is good only for family and guests who were forced to invite. 2. The rotten egg will be put in the cake batter. 3. Anything that just put in the dishwasher will need it immediately for something else, any measuring cup you used to need a liquid immediately after to a dry ingredient. 4. The time it takes to eat a meal is inversely proportional to the time you spent in preparation. 5. Whatever you do for dinner, someone will have taken at mealtime.
LAW PARTY. - The more I prepare, the guests will eat less.
WEILER ACT OF MRS. - You can eat anything as long as it split into pieces very small. DEFINITION
FAUSNER. - Domestic work is that you do not notice unless it has not been made.
WALKER LAW FOR DOMESTIC WORK - There is always more laundry to clean clothes. CLIVE
REBUTTAL TO THE LAW OF WALKER. - If you are clean, not clothes. ACT
Skoff. - A child will never spill anything on a dirt floor. ACT
VAN ROY - An unbreakable toy is used to break others.
WITZLING LAWS ON THE BEHAVIOR OF THE PROGENY. 1. Any child who speaks without stopping at home, stubbornly refuses to open his mouth when asked to say grace before the visits. 2. Any introverted and shy child will choose a public place and crowded rehearsal loudly their new vocabulary (fuck, shit, etc.). FISKE
COROLLARY OF TEENS ON THE LAW OF PARKINSON. - The stomach expands to accommodate massive amounts of junk.
TOP BANANA. - If you buy bananas or avocados before they are ripe, there will be none for when ripe. But if you buy ripe, they rot before anyone eats them. Ballance
LAW ON RELATIVITY. - The duration of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are.
POSTULATE OF BRITT ON PLANTS. - The life expectancy of a plant is inversely proportional to price and the ugliness of it. MINTON
LAW ON THE PAINT. - All paints, whatever its composition, adhere permanently to any surface (prepared or not) if they fall on it accidentally. ACT
reruns.
- If you have seen only once a television series, when next I see is a revival of that chapter.
JONES LAW ON TELEVISION PROGRAMMING. 1. If only two programs that are worth seeing, will be at the same time. 2. The only new show worth seeing it abolished. 3. The program has been wanting to see the whole week will be encoded. UNIVERSAL PRINCIPLES
BESS. 1. Always the phone rings when you are on the other side of the door and did not find the keys. 2. Take the device just in time to hear the caller hang. KOVAC
PROBLEM. - When you make a mistake while dialing, never communicating. DINER
DILEMMA. - Ties attract clean soup.
THIESSEN LAW ON GASTRONOMY.
- The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the toast.
BELL THEOREM. - When a body is immersed in water, the phone rings.
LAW OF SHOPPING BAG. - The thought eating chocolate along the way is always at the bottom of the bag. ESTHER
LAW. - A person always demanding touch chipped coffee cup, glass with traces of lipstick and hair in the soup.
GOLD LAW. - If the shoe fits, it is ugly.
FINMA ON TOP OF THE SECTION OF OPPORTUNITIES.
- What ever you want is on sale. Baker Corollary to the Principle of Finma Opportunities Section. - What you can buy is always ugly. RULES
Hershiser. 1. Anything labeled "NEW" and / or "IMPROVED FORMULA" is not. 2. The label "NEW" and / or "IMPROVED FORMULA", it has risen. 3. The label "BRAND NEW", "ALL NEW" or "GREAT NEW" means that the price has since by clouds. SINET
ACT on consumption. - A guarantee of sixty days is the promise that the object on the sixtieth day self-destruct first. OBSERVATION
BARUCH. - If all you have is a hammer, everything you see will look like a nail. SEAY
LAW. - Nothing ever goes as planned
McGEE LAW. - It's amazing the time needed to finish something that is not working. OLIVIER
LAW. - Experience is something you get when no longer needed. OBSERVATION
Kierkegaard. - Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards.
PERSIG POSTULATES. - The number of hypotheses that can explain a given phenomenon is infinite. LILLY METALEY
. - All laws are simulations of reality. ROGERS
OBSERVATION ON THE LAWS. - In a bureaucratic hierarchy, the higher up the ladder, the less they perceive the Laws of Murphy, Peter Laws, etc. MARX
RULE POLICY. - As soon as you get rich, they become conservative.
-MARTIN KERR LAW. 1. When they try to solve their own problems, teachers are the most conservative. 2. When trying to solve people's problems are very liberal. 
say human behavior and social sciences do not behave according to laws. Which is more likely for physical phenomena or so-called hard sciences.
The idea of \u200b\u200bthis post is to qualify this idea ... To see who is able to disprove the laws of murphy? It is clear that "if something can fail, fail", this does not escape the laws not cited here. In short, can not 100% satisfied, but serve more of what we want ... that's for sure. Selecting
Murphy's laws Murphy's Law
.- If something can go wrong will go wrong.
corollary. 1. Nothing is as easy as it sounds. 2. Everything takes longer than you think. 3. If the possibility of several things going wrong, which causes more damage will be the only one that goes wrong. 4. If you sensed that there are four possibilities that go bad management and avoids appear spontaneously when a fifth possibility. 5. When things are left to themselves, tend to go from bad to worse. 6. As is set to do something, you'll realize there's something else I should have done before. 7. Any solution leads to new problems. 8. It is useless to do anything foolproof because fools are very ingenious. 9. Nature is always part of the hidden flaw. 10. Mother Nature is a Lizard. PHILOSOPHY
MURPHY .- Smile. Tomorrow may be worse. O'TOOLE
COMMENT ON THE LAW OF MURPHY .- Murphy was an optimist.
POSTULATE of Boling .- If you feel unwell, do not worry. It will happen. FIRST LAW OF CHISHOLM
.- When things go well, something must be right to be wrong.
COROLARIOS.1. When it seems that nothing can be worse, worse. 2. When it sounds like things are getting better, is that he has missed something.
LAW OF THE GREAT IDEA .- When you can think of the ideal, someone will have already solved the problem. LAW OF THE LIE
.- No matter how often it is shown that a lie is wrong. There will always be a certain percentage of people who believe it's true. ACT
Kranska .- day Beware of that has nothing to regret.
COROLARIOS.1. If you explain something so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, do not worry, someone will. 2. If you do something and you are sure you will be approved around the world, someone is upset. 3. Methods to better achieve the objective not usually work. Finagle's First Law
.- If an experiment works, something has gone wrong. SECOND LAW FINAGLE.No
matter what is the expected result. There is always someone eager to: • misleading; • Mimic • Believing that has been because of his favorite theory. THIRD LAW
Finagle .- In any group of data, the figure is obviously correct, without any need for verification, is wrong.
COROLARIOS.1. If someone asks for help, you will not know see the error. 2. Anyone take a look, without your request, you will see immediately. Finagle FOURTH LAW
.- If a paper is jammed, all you do to fix it just get worse.
FINAGLE.1 RULES. To study a subject best, Understand them in depth before. 2. Always carry a data record, and demonstrate that it has been working. 3. First draw curves and then prepare the text. 4. In case of doubt, that sounds convincing. 5. The experiments should be similar, ie, they all fail the same way. 6. Do not believe in miracles, rely on them. FIRST LAW
SODD .- When a person undertakes a task, the unconscious intervention of other presence (animate or inanimate) derail their plans. However, some tasks can be completed because this presence is also involved performing a task and, of course, is also exposed to your intervention. SODD'S SECOND LAW
.- Sooner or later, you can have the utmost assurance that produce the most unfavorable circumstances.
COROLLARY .- Any system must be designed so that it can oppose the most unfavorable circumstances.
UNIVERSAL LAWS ON RECOMMENDED BY THE COMMITTEE OF THE SOCIETY OF ENGINEERS FOR ENGINEERS INGENUOS.1 PHILOSOPHERS. In any calculation, if you have to brew a mistake will slip. 2. Any error in any calculation, the most damage will occur. 3. In any formula, constants (especially those that are drawn from engineering books) should be considered as variables. 4. The best approach to operating conditions in the laboratory, not even be close to actual operating conditions. 5. The most important dimension of any plan or project is one that is more likely to overlook that. 6. If only a quote for a particular project, it is more likely that the price is not reasonable. 7. If a test installation functions perfectly, producing units will not work at all. 8. All promises of delivery times must be multiplied by a factor equal to 2.0 .. 9. The major design changes will be requested when the manufacturing process is nearing completion. 10. Parts that can not be mounted more than a certain order, can be interchanged. 11. Parts interchangeable, however, prove that they are not. 12. The manufacturer's specifications on performance should be multiplied by a factor equal to 0.5 13. The statements of the sales department staff on performance should be multiplied by a factor of 0.25. 14. The installation and operating instructions that come with the set, have thrown the Department of Receiving Goods. 15. The piece that needs some adjustment will be less accessible. 16. The conditions of service as the instructions come in, they fall short quickly. 17. If more than one person that you can blame a miscalculation, the fault is no longer anyone. 18. Identical devices that have the same behavior in the tests, will not behave well in practice. 19. 1 if, in practice there is a safety factor that determined the experience will always be some ingenious idiot over it. 20. The terms expire guarantee to pay the bill.
PARK LAW ON INSURANCE PREMIUMS AND TAXES .- What goes up, stays up.
EXTENSION TO THE LAW OF MURPHY .- If a series of events can go wrong will go wrong in the worst possible sequence. EXTENSION
GATTUSO MURPHY'S LAW .- Nothing is ever as bad as what it can not get worse.
LAW IMBESI ON THE CONSERVATION OF THE SOIL .- To clean something there to mess something else. EXTENSION
FREEMAN .- But you can mess around without cleaning anything.
LAW INAPPLICABLE .- Wash the car so that rain does not usually bear fruit. HANE
ACT .- There are no limits to things going wrong.
PERRUSEL LAW. - There is no simple task that can not be wrong. COROLLARY
"Never get caught between two bureaucracies.
HOFFSTEDT PRINCIPLE ON THE JOB .- Confusion creates jobs. SOPER LAW
.- Any bureaucracy reorganized to enhance efficiency, immediately becomes indistinguishable from its predecessor.
OWEN ON THE THEORY OF DIVERSION ORGANIZATIONAL .- An organization is assigned a certain number of seats to make it available to unskilled people. THEORY
Goia .- The least qualified person is giving more opinions.
THE DANGER OF GENIUS .- Any head lay off an employee to always be right. MOTTO
LIPPMAN .- People always specialized in the field less known. HUTCHINS LAW .-
can not speak more than a man who knows what he is talking.
FAHNSTOCK LAW ON THE DEBATE .- Any issue worth debating is worth avoiding it altogether.
MITCHELL LAW ON COMITEOLOGÍA. • Any simple problem can become insoluble if enough meetings are held to discuss it. KENNEDY
COMMENT ON COMMITTEES .- A committee is constituted by twelve men doing the work of one. KIRBY
COMMENT ON COMMITTEES .- A committee is the only way of life that has twelve stomachs, but no brain.
START OF CONFERENCE ON COLLINS .- The most monotonous voice he always talks after lunch.
JACOBSON LAW .- The less work is organized, most frequently rearranged. RULE
ROGER .- The grant authorization for a project only when none of which he is authorized to be blamed if the project fails but all it can to establish if this is a success.
inferiority FIRST RULE OF SUPERIOR .- Do not let your superiors realize that you are superior to them. WHISTLER ACT
.- You never know who is right, but always know who is boss.
COHN LAW .- In any bureaucracy, the paperwork will increase as you spend more time writing reports about how little he does. The stability will be achieved only when you spend all your time writing reports on what, at all, are doing.
AXIOM OF GOURD "A meeting is a situation where minutes are kept and lost hours.
FIRST LAW OF BUSINESS MEETINGS .- The failure of the pen tip is directly proportional to the importance of the notes to be taken. PETER PRINCIPLE
.- In any hierarchy, every employee has to increase his level of incompetence.
COROLLARY. • Over time, all positions that tend to deal with an incompetent employee. • The work performed by an employee who has not yet reached the ideal level of incompetence. PLACEBO
PETER .- An ounce of image equals one kilo of performance. Axiom
VAIL .- In any human enterprise, work seeks the lower hierarchical level.
PARKINSON'S FOURTH LAW. - The number of people who make up a working group tends to increase regardless of the work to be carried out. FIFTH LAW OF PARKINSON
.- If there is a way to delay an important decision, an effective bureaucracy, public or private, will find it.
SPARK'S TEN RULES FOR THE DIRECTOR OF projects.1. Strive to always have a tremendously important issue. 2. Try to be seen with important people. 3. Speak with authority, but only obvious and proven facts. 4. Do not enter discussions. But if you cornered, unimportant ask a question and take the body back with a satisfied smile. When your opponent tries to understand what happens, take the opportunity to change the subject. 5. Listen absorbed as the others discussed the problem. Attack and crush a trivial matter to others. 6. If a subordinate makes a nagging question, look as if he had gone mad. When you look at the ground, point it at him the same question in different words. 7. Get more orders, but does not become the center of attention. 8. When you leave the office, walk quickly. This minimizes the chances of questions from subordinates and superiors. 9. Keep always closed his office door. This will make your visitors become defensive or think that you are in an important meeting. 10. Always verbally all orders, which are not written tests. WORKER'S DILEMMA
. • Whatever you do, never be enough. • What not to do, always be more important than what you do. AXIOMS \u200b\u200bOF DIRECTOR.1
. Think about it: that money is not yours. 2. The right direction is the expression of a good idea. 3. No executive devotes no effort to verify that you were wrong. 4. If action needs to justify a very complicated calculations, not undertaken. MAXIMUM
MATCH .- A fool in an elevated position is like a man on top of a mountain. The second, everything seems small and he looks small to everyone. LAWS
Mencken. • He who can, does. • He who can not be devoted to education.
EXTENSION OF MARTIN .- Those who can not go into teaching, are civil servants.
LAMENT OF HARRIS .- The good jobs are already occupied.
OLD LAW AND KAHN .- The efficiency of a committee is inversely proportional to the number of participants you have and the time you spend in deliberations. HENDRICKSON
ACT .- If a problem because many meetings are held, the meetings will become more important than the problem. TRUMAN ACT
.- If you can not convince them, confúndalos. FIRST LAW OF DEBATE
.- Do not argue with a fool never. People may not appreciate the difference.
INDECISIÓN.1 LAWS. Indecision shortens the job and moved to another person (the boss to put the deadline) the responsibility of the conclusion. 2. Reduces anxiety, decreasing the expected quality of the project have to do in so little time. 3. You gain prestige with others and to oneself, since it is assumed that the importance of work justifies the stress. 4. Generally, you can also get to avoid interruptions (for example, may be assigned new tasks) for the worker, clearly overwhelmed to concentrate on what you are doing. 5. Indecision prevents boredom. Never have the feeling that there is nothing important to do. 6. You can delete the task, if not done needed before it is completed. PATTON LAW
.- A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.
LIEBERMAN ACT .- Everybody lies but it does not matter because nobody listens.
BOTH POLITICAL PRINCIPLES TODD.1. I say what I say, not the whole truth. 2. Talk about what you talk, talk about money. OBSERVATION
Horngren .- Among economists, often the real world is a special case. Glyme
FORMULA OF SUCCESS .- The secret of success is sincerity. As I can fake it, you've got. HELGA
RULES .- Say no and then negotiate. HOROWITZ
RULE .- Wisdom is to know when to avoid perfection. NEVERS
LAW ON THE DEBATE .- Two monologues not a dialogue. HIRAM
ACT .- If consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.
BRALEK RULE ON SUCCESS .- Trust only those who lose as much as you if things go wrong.
CLARKE ACT ON THE REVOLUTIONARY IDEAS .- Every revolutionary field - science, politics, art or any other - produces three forms of reaction. Can be summarized in three sentences: 1. It is impossible not waste my time. 2. It is possible, but not worth it. 3. I always said it was a great idea.
ACT RUNAMOK .- There are four kinds of people: 1. Those who sit silently and do nothing. 2. Those who talk about sitting quietly and do nothing. 3. Those who do things. 4. Those who talk about doing things. MAXIMUM
MATZ .- A conclusion is the point where you got tired of thinking. Fagin
RULE ON THE PREDICTION OF THE PAST .- The hindsight is an exact science.
FUNDAMENTAL RULE OF HISTORY .- It is that history will repeat, is that historians are copied each other.
HAWKINS THEORY ON THE PROGRESS .- Progress does not consist in replacing a theory wrong by another right, but to substitute a false theory by another more subtly wrong. ACT
hlad .- If you have a difficult task, confess to a lazy man. You will find the easiest way to do it. HUNT LAW
.- Any great idea has a major disadvantage or equal to the greatness of it. Hanlon's Razor
.- Do not you never attribute to malice what stupidity can explain. ACT
KEOPS "Nothing is completed on time and not out of the budget.
START OF O'BRIEN (THEORY OF $ 357.73) .- Auditors always reject any account of costs whose total is divisible by 5 or 10. Issawi
OBSERVATION ON THE USE OF PAPER .- Each system has its own way to consume huge amounts of paper. In socialist systems have to fill out forms in quadruplicate kilometer. In capitalist societies are placed huge billboards and everything is wrapped with four layers of cardboard. COROLLARY
SIDE JOHN-To get a loan, the first thing to do is demonstrate that you do not.
INSTITUTIONS ACT .- The magnificence of the reception is inversely proportional to the solvency of the company. PROPHECY
POULSEN .- If you use anything to its full capacity, it breaks.
EDWARDS LAW ON THE EFFORT / TIME. • Effort x Time = Constant. • Given a large initial time to do something, the initial effort will be small. • As the time approaches zero, the effort tends to infinity. McPHERSON
THEORY ON THE ENTROPY .- less energy is required to remove an object from its site for replacing. SNAFU EQUATIONS
. • Any problem with n equations, there will be n +1 unknowns. • The necessary information will always be the most inaccessible. • When you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, appear simple and obvious solution was right under their noses. • The bad news always comes in waves.
LAWS OF PROGRAMMING DE ORDENADORES.1. Any program, when it works, is that it has become old. 2. Any program is more expensive and needs more time. 3. If a program is useful, will be replaced. 4. If a program is useless, will be demonstrated. 5. Any program will expand to fill all the computer resources. 6. The complexity of a program increases beyond the ability of the programmer who must review it. GILB
RULES ON NON FIABILIDAD.1. Computers are unreliable, but humans are even less. 2. Any system that depends on human reliability is not reliable. 3. The variety of undetectable errors is infinite in contrast to detectable errors which are, by definition, limited. 4. Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors or until someone insists that the job is done right.
LAW OF NUISANCE .- When you are doing manual work, saving tool because you are sure you will not use it again, will need shortly.
LOWERY LAW .- If you get stuck, force it, if it breaks, it had to be replaced anyway. SCHMIDT LAW
.- If bumble one thing for a long time, it will break.
PRINCIPLE USES MULTIPLE DEVICES .- The fewer things can make a device, make them better.
GORDON LAW .- If an investigation is not worth it, not worth doing well.
COROLARIOS.1. The broader theory, the better. 2. Can be seen that the experiment has been successful when (to fit the theory) must be eliminated over 50 100 of the measures. WILLIAMS LAW
and heard .- If you gather enough data, you can prove anything using statistics. FETT
ACT LAB .- Never try to replicate an experiment that has gone well. PARKINSON
ACT .- The progress of science is inversely proportional to the number of journals that are published.
HANDY GUIDE FOR SCIENCE MODERNA.1. If it's green or wriggles, it's biology. 2. If it stinks, it's chemistry. 3. If not, is physics. EXTENSIONS
CERF A HANDY GUIDE FOR SCIENCE MODERNA.1. If it's incomprehensible, is mathematics. 2. If it makes no sense, it is economics or philosophy. THE FALLACY OF SAGAN
.- To say that a human being is nothing but a collection of molecules, is like saying that Shakespeare is not just a set of words.
FIRST LAW OF SCIENTIFIC .- The progress of science can be measured by the speed with which accumulate the exceptions to the laws previously established.
COROLARIOS.1. Exceptions always outnumber rules. 2. Always There are exceptions to the exceptions. 3. When you come to dominate the exceptions, nobody remembers that rule apply. Felson
ACT .- Stealing ideas a person is plagiarism. Steal them many is research.
VILE ACT FOR TEACHERS. - No attention in class until you screw up.
LAWS FOR THE CLASS SCHEDULE. 1. If the course you most wanted to do was a maximum number of students n, n +1 you will be requested to enroll. 2. Schedules be developed for the sole and exclusive purpose of losing students as long as possible between classes. COROLLARY. If, by chance, get to have two followed classes, are taught in two buildings farther apart around the campus. 3. Whether to do a course, he feels like a lot needs to study a previously, the latter will only be offered during the semester following the desired.
APPLIED TERROR LAWS. 1. When you review your notes before an exam, you will realize the most important thing is unreadable. 2. The more you study for an exam, unless the insurance is what is the answer they ask. 3. 80 per 100 of the final exam is taken from the class you missed and the book does not read. 4. The night before the part of History, Professor of Biology will send to read two hundred pages on insects. COROLLARY. All teachers assume that all you have to do is study your subject. 5. If you have to do a test on which you can use books, you forget to take them. COROLLARY. If you must write a work at home, you forget where you live. 6. At the end of the year will remember that he had enrolled in a course ... and never went to class. Rominger
STANDARDS FOR STUDENTS. 1. The more general the course title, at least learn it. 2. The more specific you are, the less likely you are able to apply later.
DUGGAN ACT INVESTIGATION Scholar.
- You can not determine the source of the quotation more valuable. COROLLARY. - The source of the quote that you forgot to enter will appear in the worst criticism of their work. Rominger
RULES FOR TEACHERS. 1. When a student asked a second time if you've read his summary of the book means that he had not read it. 2. If assistance is required in class daily, announced a review will produce increased absenteeism. If optional, you see faces that had never seen before.
FOUR PRINCIPLES OF WORKSHOP. 1. The wrench or drill you need to be precisely those missing from the toolbox. 2. For most assembly takes three hands. 3. The remaining nuts in accordance with screws never leftovers. 4. The more carefully you plan a project, the more confusion will occur when something goes wrong.
THEORY OF SELECTIVE MONITORING. - The only time of day when one rests comfortably in the back of the chair and relax is when the boss walks around the office.
MURPHYOLOGÍA SIX LAWS OF OFFICE. 1. Important letters that have no faults, will breed more when they are in the mail. COROLLARY. The corresponding errors appear in the letter while the boss is reading. 2. Office machines, which work perfectly in normal working hours, will break away as backroom at night and use them for personal business. 3. The machines have been broken, work perfectly as soon as the repair technician. 4. Envelopes and stamps do not stick when they suck, they remain attached to anything at least desired. 5. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving spontaneously from the place where you left them to where they can not find. 6. The last person left or was fired from the company, will be the one to blame it all goes wrong ... to be given off to another.
BOGOVICH LAW. - He who hesitates, he's probably right.
LAW DE BRINTALL. - If you are given two contradictory orders, obey them both.
Tillis ON TOP OF ORGANIZATION. - If you file, know where it is, but it will never lack. If not filed, you'll need but never know where you are.
SANDILAND LAW. - The free time that can have an unexpected way, it inevitably squander
SCOTT LAW ON BUSINESS.
- Never go down the aisle of your business without taking a paper in his hand. TABLE OF EXCUSES
USEFUL FOR THE OFFICE. 1. Always has been. 2. I did not know I needed it urgently. 3. Nobody told me to do so. 4. I was waiting for permission. 5. How was I to know this was different?. 6. This is his job, not mine. 7. Wait until the boss and ask again. 8. We have not made many mistakes. 9. Do not think it was so important. 10. I'm so busy I can not spend even a minute. 11. I thought you had said. 12. Did not hire me to do this.
PINTO LAW. - If you make someone a favor, he will have many more. FUNDAMENTAL THEOREM
. - New systems generate new problems.
fundamental postulates of ADVANCED SYSTEMS THEORY. 1. Everything is a system. 2. It's all part of a bigger system. 3. The Universe is infinitely systematized, both upward (larger systems) or down (smaller systems). 4. All systems are infinitely complex (the illusion that they are simply comes from focusing on one or a few variables).
DAVIS LAW. - If the owner of a newspaper is a question, the answer is "no." OBSERVATION
ETORRE. - The other tail is faster. O'BRIEN
CHANGE THE OBSERVATION ETORRE. - If you change your tail, you just left will start to move faster than the new. COROLLARY
Kenton. - If you return to the first, all I get is that there is a commotion and everyone mosquee with you.
principle of hope. - The longer leads to a queue, the more likely it is that is wrong window.
STORRY LAW ON CRIMINAL PROSECUTION. - The degree of guilt is directly proportional to the vehemence with which denies everything. Jilly
LAW. - The more horrendous than the haircut, it will grow more slowly.
WOOD WALLACE LAW ON THE DRAWING. 1. Do not draw what you can never copy. 2. Do not copy that you can never trace. 3. Calque not ever what to cut and paste.
FULLER LAW ON JOURNALISM. - The farther away an accident happens, most deaths and injuries need to be news.
LAWS OF THE TRUTH IN THE STORY 1. . The more is close to the scene, most obvious are the errors of the newspapers covering the information. 2. The farther away from the scene, you will experience a greater tendency to believe what the newspapers have covered the information.
Deder LAW. - In a three-story building with one elevator, it will be in another apartment nine out of ten times.
LAW OF SIR WALTER. - The trend of cigarette smoke, grill, campfire, etc., To address a person's face is directly proportional to the sensitivity of that person to smoke.
BASIC PRINCIPLE OF BAGGAGE. - Was put together with the conveyor belt that you, your luggage will come next.
AXIOM OF ANGUS ON EXCHANGE. - When traveling abroad, the exchange rate will greatly improve the day after buying the currency.
COROLLARY. - Upon returning home, the exchange rate will fall again as soon as they changed all the remaining currencies.
FULTON LAW ON GRAVITY. - The effort to collect the fly an object that can break, will produce a much greater disaster that drop. ADVANCED
VILE ACT ON THE ART OF QUEUE. 1. If you head running into a short tail, before it gets will be very long. 2. When waiting in a long tail, the people behind you maneuvered and placed in the box that just opened. 3. If you leave for a second, a short tail, it will become a long row. 4. If you are in a short tail, people will slip before all your friends and relatives and will become a long tail. 5. A short queue outside a building will become a long tail on the inside. 6. If it gets stuck in one place long enough, will form a queue behind you.
SIX PRINCIPLES FOR PATIENTS. 1. Just because the doctor knows the name of your illness does not mean you know what it is. 2. The older and magazines are boring waiting room, more time will have to wait to receive him. 3. Only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles. 4. Are never enough pills for the last day of treatment. 5. The tablets to be taken with meals are the most disgusting. COROLLARY. Even the water tastes bad when taken on prescription. 6. If it appears that their conditions are improving, it's likely your doctor is getting sick.
TELESCAN LAWS ON NURSING. 1. All users are on the other end of the hall. 2. The doctor's ability is inversely proportional to the time available. 3. There are two types of tape: the one that does not stick and can not unstuck. 4. Everyone wants a shot at the same time soothing. 5. All who do not want a sedative injection when you offered them, they want it passes the sleeping pills. WARNING
MATZ. - Be careful with the doctor who is very clever way out of trouble.
PORKINGHAM LAWS ON FISHING. 1. The time you have to go fishing will decrease as the season approaches. 2. The least experienced fisherman always the fishing the larger fish. COROLLARY. The more sophisticated and expensive as his team most likely to stop at the fish to return. 3. The more he has tangled the line, more fish will around. ACT
SHEDENHELM
PROGRESS IN MOUNTAIN. - All trails have more uphill sections downhill, regardless of the direction of travel. ACT
MUS. - The partner is always blamed. UNDISPUTED
LAW OF CONTRACTS SPORTS. - The greater the amount stated in the contract, the less effective the following season. KNOX
START OF THE QUALITY OF THE STAR. - When transferred to a superstar for your favorite team that goes out. When his team transferred to an unknown useless, immediately rises to stardom. Hertzberg
LAW TO WALK ON THE WING. - Never let go of where it is caught until it is holding on to something else.
DEAL ON THE LAWS OF NAVIGATION. 1. The amount of wind will vary inversely proportional to the number and experience of people on board. 2. No matter how strong the breeze when it leaves the dock, on arrival at the point farthest from the port, the wind will stay calm. ROAD COURTESY
OLIVER LAW ON THE POSITION. - Wherever you go, there you go.
FIRST LAW OF TRIP. - Always take longer to get that back.
AIR ACT. - When you need to make a transfer, if the plane on which you are late, one not wearing it.
KELLY LAW ON AIR NAVIGATION. - The most important part of any road map is in the fold.
CHARNOK GRANDFATHER LAW. - Do not know what it is blasphemy to not learn to drive.
VILE ACT ON THE ROAD. - Your car wastes gas and oil than others. STATEMENT OF PHILLIP
. - Driving a four wheel vehicle simply means that you can get stuck in the most unlikely places.
HUMPHRIES LAW ON CYCLING. - The shortest path is the one with the steepest hills.
LAW OF THE WAY OF LIFE. - If everything comes to you, is that the wrong lane. ATHENA
LAWS OF THE FREE DRIVING.
- If you allow someone stand in front of you: 1. The car in front will be the last to cross a level crossing and you will be unable to move until the end of spending a long, slow train, or 2. The two go to the same site and the other will occupy the last free parking space. Lemar POSTULATE
ON PARKING. - If you had to leave the car six blocks, you will find two holes at the entrance of the building.
GRAY LAW FOR BUSES. - A bus that never arrives, only appear when potential passengers have been walking to a point so close to the destination and not worth taking the bus. ACT
McKee. - When not in a hurry, the traffic light turns green before stopping the car.
QUIGLEY ACT. - A car and a truck that will cross on a deserted road, you will always find in step closer.
FIRST TRAFFIC LAW. - The slow lane which has stood so long, begin to move when you've switched to another.
SECOND LAW OF TRAFFIC. - The time taken by the margin that traffic will fall short because they spend hour and a half in traffic. REECE
LAW. - The speed of an oncoming vehicle is directly proportional to the area of \u200b\u200bthe crossing area.
DREW LAW ON THE BIOLOGY OF THE HIGHWAY. - The first bug that crashes on a windshield, it is always at the level eyes.
AXIOM OF WINFIELD ON THE ART OF GIVING AN ADDRESS. - The possibility of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times they say "can not miss." JEAN
LAW ON THE CAR. - Any car that is used as a "second car" will break as the other has a breakdown. Bromberg
LAWS ON AUTO REPAIR. 1. If you can locate the damaged part, do not have tools to remove. 2. When you can remove, in the parts store will tell you they do not have now, but it is requested. 3. If you have stock in the store is no need to change.
MILLER LAW ON INSURANCE. - The insurance covers everything except what happens. MILSTAR
ON TOP OF THE DRIVE. - If you want to pause a moment to touch up her makeup, all lights are green. Bromberg
LAWS ON MOTOR REPAIR. 1. When the need arises, any tool or object you have on hand becomes a hammer. 2. Although the repair is small, you end up full of grease and oil. 3. If necessary, the tools can be used interchangeably in metric or inches. DOMESTIC MURPHYOLOGÍA
O'REILLY LAW ON THE KITCHEN. - Cleanliness is next to impossible.
SEVEN RULES OF DISORDER IN THE KITCHEN. 1. The multi-purpose devices do not implement any of their duties. COROLLARY. The more expensive the appliance, the less you use. 2. The instructions are simple (eg, "Press Here"), the harder it is to open the box. 3. If you find a recipe for her grandmother in an old book, the most important ingredient is unreadable. COROLLARY. Discover that it is unreadable only after all other ingredients mixed. 4. Once you have broken a dish, add anything to fix it worse. 5. Always receive praise for the dish easier to prepare. Example: If you "duck l'orange" compliment you on baked potatoes. 6. His guest is allergic to only ingredient that was hard to find. 7. The more time and energy devoted to preparing a dish, most likely to spend your guests commenting on food delicacies that have been taken elsewhere.
LAWS OF WORK OF THE COOK. • If you forget if you remove the meat from the freezer, you have not already done so. • If you do not remember if the appliance has been left plugged in, yes it has left. • If you do not remember having to buy bread and eggs, which are not. • If you do not know if you have enough money to invite your family to eat out, it has not. ALICE HAMMOND
LAWS ON THE KITCHEN. 1. The soufflés rise and whipped cream is good only for family and guests who were forced to invite. 2. The rotten egg will be put in the cake batter. 3. Anything that just put in the dishwasher will need it immediately for something else, any measuring cup you used to need a liquid immediately after to a dry ingredient. 4. The time it takes to eat a meal is inversely proportional to the time you spent in preparation. 5. Whatever you do for dinner, someone will have taken at mealtime.
LAW PARTY. - The more I prepare, the guests will eat less.
WEILER ACT OF MRS. - You can eat anything as long as it split into pieces very small. DEFINITION
FAUSNER. - Domestic work is that you do not notice unless it has not been made.
WALKER LAW FOR DOMESTIC WORK - There is always more laundry to clean clothes. CLIVE
REBUTTAL TO THE LAW OF WALKER. - If you are clean, not clothes. ACT
Skoff. - A child will never spill anything on a dirt floor. ACT
VAN ROY - An unbreakable toy is used to break others.
WITZLING LAWS ON THE BEHAVIOR OF THE PROGENY. 1. Any child who speaks without stopping at home, stubbornly refuses to open his mouth when asked to say grace before the visits. 2. Any introverted and shy child will choose a public place and crowded rehearsal loudly their new vocabulary (fuck, shit, etc.). FISKE
COROLLARY OF TEENS ON THE LAW OF PARKINSON. - The stomach expands to accommodate massive amounts of junk.
TOP BANANA. - If you buy bananas or avocados before they are ripe, there will be none for when ripe. But if you buy ripe, they rot before anyone eats them. Ballance
LAW ON RELATIVITY. - The duration of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are.
POSTULATE OF BRITT ON PLANTS. - The life expectancy of a plant is inversely proportional to price and the ugliness of it. MINTON
LAW ON THE PAINT. - All paints, whatever its composition, adhere permanently to any surface (prepared or not) if they fall on it accidentally. ACT
reruns.
- If you have seen only once a television series, when next I see is a revival of that chapter.
JONES LAW ON TELEVISION PROGRAMMING. 1. If only two programs that are worth seeing, will be at the same time. 2. The only new show worth seeing it abolished. 3. The program has been wanting to see the whole week will be encoded. UNIVERSAL PRINCIPLES
BESS. 1. Always the phone rings when you are on the other side of the door and did not find the keys. 2. Take the device just in time to hear the caller hang. KOVAC
PROBLEM. - When you make a mistake while dialing, never communicating. DINER
DILEMMA. - Ties attract clean soup.
THIESSEN LAW ON GASTRONOMY.
- The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the toast.
BELL THEOREM. - When a body is immersed in water, the phone rings.
LAW OF SHOPPING BAG. - The thought eating chocolate along the way is always at the bottom of the bag. ESTHER
LAW. - A person always demanding touch chipped coffee cup, glass with traces of lipstick and hair in the soup.
GOLD LAW. - If the shoe fits, it is ugly.
FINMA ON TOP OF THE SECTION OF OPPORTUNITIES.
- What ever you want is on sale. Baker Corollary to the Principle of Finma Opportunities Section. - What you can buy is always ugly. RULES
Hershiser. 1. Anything labeled "NEW" and / or "IMPROVED FORMULA" is not. 2. The label "NEW" and / or "IMPROVED FORMULA", it has risen. 3. The label "BRAND NEW", "ALL NEW" or "GREAT NEW" means that the price has since by clouds. SINET
ACT on consumption. - A guarantee of sixty days is the promise that the object on the sixtieth day self-destruct first. OBSERVATION
BARUCH. - If all you have is a hammer, everything you see will look like a nail. SEAY
LAW. - Nothing ever goes as planned
McGEE LAW. - It's amazing the time needed to finish something that is not working. OLIVIER
LAW. - Experience is something you get when no longer needed. OBSERVATION
Kierkegaard. - Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards.
PERSIG POSTULATES. - The number of hypotheses that can explain a given phenomenon is infinite. LILLY METALEY
. - All laws are simulations of reality. ROGERS
OBSERVATION ON THE LAWS. - In a bureaucratic hierarchy, the higher up the ladder, the less they perceive the Laws of Murphy, Peter Laws, etc. MARX
RULE POLICY. - As soon as you get rich, they become conservative.
-MARTIN KERR LAW. 1. When they try to solve their own problems, teachers are the most conservative. 2. When trying to solve people's problems are very liberal.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
What Kinds Of Pomeranian
Rebuttal to the following idea of \u200b\u200bHugo Chavez and many others: "The Play Station promotes violence ..."
The thought that argues Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez earlier in the video is shared, at least in its main ideas, for many people. Usually they are people of an age group closest to the third age to adolescence.
My goal is to completely refute this idea that video games cause violence. When did violence among humans? It's simple, began with early humans. Is it in the genes? This I can not answer it, I have no competence to do so. However it is clear that violence began in the era of video game. Moreover, the largest massacres of people held in modern bourgeois society (with its double standard bitch), if one that awakens nostalgia for some elderly people in moral matters: says referring to the period in which they gave the first and second world war (1914 - 1945) "There used to respect" . "Before it was something else", "Today people are very violent," "... Did you see that happen? I saw it on TV! Too bad they are young! ", Etc. Beyond the half-truths that these phrases can contain is certain is that all societies have practiced violence: Prehistoric peoples of ancient Mesopotamia, the Egyptians, classical civilizations, the Pre-Columbian peoples of America, medieval society, modern, contemporary, etc.
Therefore, I am not you agree with the idea that holds that certain video games promote violence. How do you explain those who hold this view of violence in other historical periods? How do you explain the violence of the human species from its beginnings until the late 70's, when video games become popular? Ojo! This is not to say that today there is no violence, but blame is a real mess with so much emphasis on video game violence. I believe, does not become either a secondary cause. Except in isolated cases of mentally ill to emulate and put into practice what they see on television, in video games. However, it is plausible to assume that in an era pre game, Martin had emulated Cardagián, Tarzan, and had followed a mystical delirium. For example, the case Pierre Riviere (see Foucault, I, Pierre Rivière, having slaughtered my mother, my sister and my brother ...), a young Frenchman who killed his mother, sister and brother in the second half of the nineteenth century . If Pierre had run the shot in the head with an M-16 style counter strike, we can assume that the press and some old and ignorant cops had their clothes torn, but as Pierre was an unknown peasant nineteenth century Iquitos the most closed minds of today, no problem: "Young people are immoral because if they are violent video games are poor because they are vague and are jets because before leaving the choice to steal or be employed and earn a living wage to live, chose the first option. "
Finally, only one thought: Is our society more violent than those of yesteryear? We do not know. I know not invented a "violentómetro" (ie a machine that measures that societies are more violent). What if there are statistics, which marks the largest massacres and atrocities that occurred before the era of the game. There was never anything similar in magnitude, violence and death toll during the first and second world war: take a look at the following table (note that civilian casualties are not only military):
As if this were Recently, the second war was much worse: the USSR, which topped the 27 million casualties among military and civilian personnel. The Allies (U.S., Britain and France were the main ones) lost 44 million military and civilian lives, while those of the Axis powers (Japan, Italy and Germany) suffered 11 million casualties. The number of dead from both sides in Europe amounted to 19 million victims of the war against Japan reached 6 million. United States, which just suffered casualties among civilians, lost about 400,000 citizens. All this without counting the torture, rape and other abuses that are all known.
these two examples suffice to banish the idea that video games cause violence, at the most are the smallest grain of sand of the beach sand in the world (being exaggerated). EMILIO
TOMASSINI, PROFESSOR IN HISTORY. 
The thought that argues Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez earlier in the video is shared, at least in its main ideas, for many people. Usually they are people of an age group closest to the third age to adolescence.
My goal is to completely refute this idea that video games cause violence. When did violence among humans? It's simple, began with early humans. Is it in the genes? This I can not answer it, I have no competence to do so. However it is clear that violence began in the era of video game. Moreover, the largest massacres of people held in modern bourgeois society (with its double standard bitch), if one that awakens nostalgia for some elderly people in moral matters: says referring to the period in which they gave the first and second world war (1914 - 1945) "There used to respect" . "Before it was something else", "Today people are very violent," "... Did you see that happen? I saw it on TV! Too bad they are young! ", Etc. Beyond the half-truths that these phrases can contain is certain is that all societies have practiced violence: Prehistoric peoples of ancient Mesopotamia, the Egyptians, classical civilizations, the Pre-Columbian peoples of America, medieval society, modern, contemporary, etc.
Therefore, I am not you agree with the idea that holds that certain video games promote violence. How do you explain those who hold this view of violence in other historical periods? How do you explain the violence of the human species from its beginnings until the late 70's, when video games become popular? Ojo! This is not to say that today there is no violence, but blame is a real mess with so much emphasis on video game violence. I believe, does not become either a secondary cause. Except in isolated cases of mentally ill to emulate and put into practice what they see on television, in video games. However, it is plausible to assume that in an era pre game, Martin had emulated Cardagián, Tarzan, and had followed a mystical delirium. For example, the case Pierre Riviere (see Foucault, I, Pierre Rivière, having slaughtered my mother, my sister and my brother ...), a young Frenchman who killed his mother, sister and brother in the second half of the nineteenth century . If Pierre had run the shot in the head with an M-16 style counter strike, we can assume that the press and some old and ignorant cops had their clothes torn, but as Pierre was an unknown peasant nineteenth century Iquitos the most closed minds of today, no problem: "Young people are immoral because if they are violent video games are poor because they are vague and are jets because before leaving the choice to steal or be employed and earn a living wage to live, chose the first option. "
Finally, only one thought: Is our society more violent than those of yesteryear? We do not know. I know not invented a "violentómetro" (ie a machine that measures that societies are more violent). What if there are statistics, which marks the largest massacres and atrocities that occurred before the era of the game. There was never anything similar in magnitude, violence and death toll during the first and second world war: take a look at the following table (note that civilian casualties are not only military):
As if this were Recently, the second war was much worse: the USSR, which topped the 27 million casualties among military and civilian personnel. The Allies (U.S., Britain and France were the main ones) lost 44 million military and civilian lives, while those of the Axis powers (Japan, Italy and Germany) suffered 11 million casualties. The number of dead from both sides in Europe amounted to 19 million victims of the war against Japan reached 6 million. United States, which just suffered casualties among civilians, lost about 400,000 citizens. All this without counting the torture, rape and other abuses that are all known.
these two examples suffice to banish the idea that video games cause violence, at the most are the smallest grain of sand of the beach sand in the world (being exaggerated). EMILIO
TOMASSINI, PROFESSOR IN HISTORY.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
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